i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
