how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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