Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
