so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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