Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
did you just send me my own nude
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
