i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
