Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
