Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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