After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
