Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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