Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
