Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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