So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
