But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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