y did u give ur computer a hand job?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
