guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
