Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
