What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
