We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
