how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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