Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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