you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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