Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
