Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
