a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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