I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
