god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
