For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
