do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
