so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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