I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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