Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
