You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
