We're facebook friends in real life
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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