ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
