We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
