why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
