i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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