You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
