Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My pussy is not your playground.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
