party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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