My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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