I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
