I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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