It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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