Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So vagazzling was a success
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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