for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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