so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
