my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
