I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
