you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
3pm strippers are depressing
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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