rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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